We, at the...uh, office, were recently introduced to an amazing zine that our readers should know of!
Dangerous Encounters is the kind of zine befitting of title and genre - extreme cinema reviews packed into a xeroxed paper rag composed on an actual typewriter . This is primo stuff for sickos, weirdos and you. Extra Chestnut House points for being written in the great state of Florida.
I dedicated/lost/said fuck work to an entire day and started watching movies I had picked out of my pages of notes from just the first two issues and it was the best decision I've made since eating lunch a couple times a week at the local taco truck. Here are a few winners.
DISGUSTING SPACE WORMS EAT EVERYONE (1988) - Seems like a buncha German film school kids into Troma filmed a grimey East LA river based space horror film with a killer new wave punk soundtrack! Smoke a doober and check it. Reminds me at times of the Dead Milkmen's Punk Rock Girl video's vibe meets HLT Productions. Fricken great. And that B&W kitchen counter top TV on the dashboard of the gumshoe's car?? Hahaha. YES.
VINEYARD(1989) - Who doesn't like Big Trouble? Just got a torrent, so stoked to watch the whole wino shebang. Hehe.
GORE-MET ZOMBIE CHEF FROM HELL (1986) - Honestly, this one is pretty bad but the coke fueled disco scene smack in the middle is worth the wait. But still a good movie if it's the type of afternoon where you are sitting around and lighting your farts on fire.
SPECIAL SILENCERS (1982) - Here is some straight up Indonesian guano-core complete with Shaw Brothers level English overdubs, real politick, Barry Prima doing his best Bruce Li (yeah its that second rate), and a dollop of shamanistic occult references. Solid way to end our recent movie rally.
So write a letter, SAVE THE POST OFFICE, and send some well concealed cash to our boys out in FL asking for your copies today.
Blogging is dead, social media killed it (along with 10 thousand other things, hear). Years later we can surmise the killer was never there to bolster numbers, start a wave of global enlightenment or give a voice to everyone in any meaningful sense like direct democracy would. Set up you own TAZ and don't listen to tech cheerleaders of any stripe.
Imagine if you will, a dark, dingy, corner curio store in old New York. Piles of Victorian french magic manuscripts, old canes and dusty capes, glass cases and their worn velvet lined trays covered with hoodoo powder jars, dried reptiles and silver coins for mojo bags. Across the aisles you spot dusty shelves with tomes like the Great Book by DeLaurence and The Secret Doctrine of the Rosicrucians. An old man with an incredibly thick Eastern European accent is sitting on a wood stool behind the counter. He laughs as you look around at this shop that strikes you as being a perfect replica of the studio where Dr. John recorded his first album.
The old man turns out to be royalty, Count Waleski, he calls himself and he has written his own book chronicling his involvement in a whispered about occulted priesthood. His manuscript contains the most ancient mystical teachings of the Caucasus mountain region, a land steeped in antediluvian civilization's secrets. He puts it down on the counter and motions to you to pick it up.
I was first introduced to A System For Caucasian Yoga during in the early days of my search for rare esoteric treatises. Borderland Research Group store had it in stock and claimed that the work is actually the Inner Teachings of G.I. Gurdjieff. That alone sold me, but it also claimed to be the first mention in the English speaking word of Vitic power rods.
Vitic as a term meaning life energy, came to prominence in the early part of the 20th Century belief in etheric energies lead by prominent research institutions like Northern California's Borderland Sciences Research Foundation. Continuous experiments ran from early 1945 (and evidently a bit before) until 1965 examining the use of the Rods.
Other lithographs exist from GR Meade's collection on the cultivation of the electromagnetic life force. But the gist is that the Egyptians left for us in the archeological record evidentiary use of carbon and magnetic rods to increase the electrical output of the nervous system - charge the ganglia with such power that the latent psychic channels would open leading to kosmic consciousness. For the truly experimental out there - rods are available on that one online store everyone uses so much that all mom and pop stores in the entire US are going out of business. You know which one I'm speaking of.
There seems to be in parts of Russia a deep interest in the rods to this day http://rods.ru/en/rods/index.phphttp://rods.ru/en/rods/index.php and that is entirely in line with bio-informatics and state funded research into remote viewing, distance healing and pyramid power recently surmised in the HIGHLY RECOMMENDED report "Unconventional Research in the USSR: Short Overview" available here https://arxiv.org/pdf/1312.1148.pdf
Materia is not all - the foundation is actual breathing meditation (called Arcanas), in various postures, that on a quotidian schedule are the basis of the system. James Van Gelder in his recent review of contemporary meditation masters - "Enter the Infinite" - quickly surmises the breath practice:
"The Egyptian methods involve four separate intervals of seven second breathing. The seven second breathing is important because this rate matches the natural rythm of the Earth. For this reason, seven second breathing is known as "Master Breath"...A total of three sets are completed each day, twice a day, with 30 seconds between each set...The Egyptian methods are referred to as the "short path"..."
combined with various visualizations of colors, and always facing the path of the sun, a complete system appears. Most methods are very surprising in their presentation versus what is common in today's new age yoga styles - singing a Zoroastrian mantra on and off for a full day, while keeping your hands on your face and ears plugged to develop lucid dreams or using the contagion aspect of yawns to send telepathic messages - but it all seems to lend an air of some authenticity that carried a current far and wide. How far? Well, even The KING, Elvis Presley owned a copy. Another name I would be remiss not to mention would be Murat Yagan, the founder of the Kebzeh system, who comes up in research related to the term Caucasian Yoga, but if he and the good Count actually are teaching the same thing we might never know. If you are interested truly outsider occult lit, I commend this book to your attention.
(Special thanks to the inimitable KookScience for gracious context, pointers and good cheer)
A brooding offering of thrilling deviance, a lost collection of sounds and vibes that can only be truly felt by those who look upon giallo cinema for its counterpoints of trash and highbrow, of desperation and gory redemption - Massimo E Massimo is a love song to all that EuroTrash Utility Belt holds dear. LISTEN UPON MASSIMO E MASSIMO WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR!
A collaboration of musician/graphic artist Doc Quandary and giallo connoisseur/ purveyor of liminal fictive research Dakota Crane, this inspiring project gives life to some dusty 16MM canisters of a parallel dimensions. This is stuff for serious heads. CHILDREN OF THE WITCHES ELM (1974) might be difficult to track down a decent rip, maybe someone got a Blue Ray, but we have Sequence 2 and the liner notes to tease us. But honestly, do yourself a favor and get the download which includes a booklet of write ups on the films, the composers, and often the movie posters.
Dakota Crane recently let the EUTB staff know that there is talk at the SuperSpectrum Sound Studio office of a follow-up - and following in the giant foot steps of GOBLIN a possible live show/retrospective in the works. We shall wait with bated anticipation for what comes next from MASSIMO E MASSIMO!
What kind of depravity do you get when you mix a crucified statue of the Golgotha thief possessed by Satan, a sex hungry whiskey drinking cheating wife, and an art student daughter with delicious gams who gets turned on walking up 50 flights of stairs after being fucked by said statue? THE KIND OF SATURDAY MORNING EUROTRASH EXCESS WE ALL LOVE!
Starring starry eyed Stella Carnacina, 70s Italian pinup girl, this film can do no wrong. (Actually it does a lot of wrong but in the right ways...)
Opening in an abandoned village church, subtly the film indicates that in this 15th Cent ruin the J-man is not in the house - being sold off to collectors.The thief is all that is left - the supposed conductor and final reminder of the local villagers' orgies.
[cue obligatory drug fueled swank swingers disco party]
Cheating Mom is having a good S&M rose whipping time with her side man - a debased sex scene spied on by her daughter Daniella which foretells a future frenzy with Beelzebub himself.
After being plugged by the Prince of Darkness in a smoke filled room with a flaming cross, Daniella runs away from what she thought could only be a
dream. We are then treated to a screaming run up 50 flights of stairs to a WILD standing orgasm while satanic
chants haunt her mind. After this moment of total abandon it's GAME ON
for some good ol' demonic possession!
Many commentators on lesser blogs go off about the chase scene in this movie, but for stalwart EurotrashUtilityBelt typa fools, the $$$ scene is in the lost Etruscan temple to BAAL. Daniella stumbles upon it during what was supposed to be a relaxing weekend in the country.
Eternal blood sacrifice of children for protection, and orgies involving virgins is how they rolled back in the day...apparently. The entire montage of shots in the temple orgy scene (complete with a fairly decent oration spoken by a witch to the dark one which we should all try out and a cool/cruel crucifixion) are really the cinematic highlight of the flick and at times remind one of Naschy's Werewolf Versus the Vampire (1971)...that I got to get around to talk about soon but these new updates to my utility belt take some time dammit.
As the film progresses we get into more and more of the influence of the Exorcist. Ultimately, this is too bad given the flourishes of creative originality, but the final casting-out is still fun and slightly disgusting. Enjoy this film when you find a moment away from your (self) important lives and silly- internet-created-dreams of fame! :)
A video from the torture rap group of Regurgitated Giblets - not the first thing that comes to mind when we think of the Eurotrash Utility Belt themes but 'good enough for government work'. More twisted music is available on the utube page https://www.youtube.com/user/zombieburnings/videos
Feast your eyes on this secret notebook: handwritten notes purported to be some of infamous scoundrel Gurdjieff's awareness exercises.
Why would I bring this all up in the secret notebooks tag? Some of it was because I have been thinking about the line between the swami and the huckster that G. walked so well. The other aspect is G. played a very subtle background role in Argento's INFERNO and of course we are alllll about subtlety here.
So remember to keep yo' notes scribbled, yo' language garbled and yo' actions dangerous.
AKA Scourging through my cobwebbed mental filing system to do a self-referential archeology of Utility Belts
The OCD probably first kicked off with Data from the Goonies. Running around with some friends on BMX bikes in what seemed like eternal summers while thinking about how to properly gear up for that one adventure that could just be around the corner. Man.
Or was it the 60s Batman TV series that seemed to always be on KOFY TV 20.
Now those were heedy days - my "puffed-on" internal rewinds turn up fuzzy memories of foggy mornings, afternoon creek sneaky creeps avoiding older kids who want to beat you up and nights of of pre-cable TV tunings. Memories like when my friend and I both bought some old Radio Shack walki-talkis and tried to talk each other from 5 miles away. I was on a hill and he was below and we coordinated a contact time with us facing each other.
Didn't work.
sometimes dr.jean scott would come through the boob tube static
But a few years later it was the great Bob Burden's Flaming Carrot whose belt deconstructed my understanding of utility belts from just practical and cool to weird, wild and untamed surrealism.
Somewhere along the way utility belts became just your EDC, the basics that leave you prepared more than just that govt tracking device you always carry (which you should be smart enough to leave behind if SHTF). As one unwittingly drifts into prepper culture you kinda have an idea of what you need to fuck stuff up however keeping FC's insights in mind, still have some fun with what you pack...IT COULD DAMN WELL SAVE YOUR LIFE.
But rather than opt for a manbag - a space pen, a gerber shard, various pocket knives to choose from, a fenix flashlight, a small lighter is about all you need. It all fits pretty easy onto a keychain and the rest into your pocket. If you are in a car, then pack some stuff to get you over a night and through a fence or two.
When it comes down to utility belts/EDC/gear, etc, there is nothing more helpful than knowing how to use your stuff. A few knots, how to start fire, how to make camp, how to snare, some E and E.
I guess it is still waiting for that adventure that could just be around the corner.
So here's hot chicks in utility belts... because... it is required by law.
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